Have you ever been disappointed? Dreams failed to come true, planned activities end up being scrapped because of unforeseen circumstances? Something your work hard for and think about constantly never happens?
During our lives, we will all experience levels of disappointment. It will come in various forms and look different for each individual. It can be hard to find the good in disappointment, especially when things don’t happen like we thought they would.
I’ve had to deal with a number of disappointing circumstances in the past. One especially was difficult and it took me a while to stop focusing on the disappointment and start looking for what I could learn through it all.
I won’t go into detail, all I will say is there was a theatrical production I really wanted to be a part of. I practiced my audition piece almost every day. I practiced in the mirror, working on my facial expressions. I couldn’t stop talking about it and could hardly sleep at night thinking about the auditions coming up. I was so excited.
The day came and I performed my audition piece and several others. I was thrilled with how well I did and I just knew I’d get the part.
Well, as you can guess from the title of this post, I didn’t get the part. I cried a bit when the news came. It was devastating. To be so excited about something for so long and then to have it all torn away was hard.
My hurt wasn’t just from the fact that I didn’t get the part. It was from all those other semi-failed attempts to get into other productions that stung too.
Now that I look back on it all, I’ve noticed something. Stepping back, I can sort of see how ridiculous I was. No, it’s perfectly alright to feel disappointed about something, and yes, you’re allowed to cry, if you need to, but it is only now that I realize how much I sort of needed that blow. It helped me realize what is more important.
My pride needed to be taken down a notch. I had been walking around like I was the best thing ever. I kind of annoyed my family with my constant chatter about what I was going to do. How I was going to be amazing at this part.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m glad I didn’t get the part. It helped me realize where my priorities were. I put so much faith in an earthly thing and didn’t really believe God wouldn’t let me get this part. If He loved me, He’d give me what I wanted, right?
Uh, no. Sometimes God says yes, sometimes He says no, sometimes He says wait.
I thought I had been humble during the whole experience. I thought I was trusting God, but really, I was sort of doing my own thing.
And perhaps He was telling me to wait. Even though I may never fully understand His reasons, God sometimes allows or doesn’t allow things to happen because He loves us. Imagine if He gave us everything we wanted?
Now, my disappointment compares nothing to that of someone who may have lost a loved one, or someone who is going through a really hard time. My disappointment was pretty undramatic if you think about it.
But the thing is, I believe every disappointment happens for a reason.
Imagine yourself to be a single thread. Pick whatever color you want. Gold, red, blue, orange…
An expert weaver is threading you through the fabric of a tapestry he is making. As he sews, he is intertwining other threads around you. It takes quite a while.
When the weaver is done, he turns stares down at the back of his work. If someone were to casually glance over the weaver’s shoulder, they’d laugh and go away thinking what a horrible weaver. The picture is distorted and looks a little funny. The image isn’t clear.
Then, the weaver turns the tapestry around and looks at the front. It’s a masterpiece, completely breathtaking.
That’s sort of what happens to us. We are seeing our world as it is. Distorted, sinful. The picture isn’t clear. We don’t understand why things happen like they do.
But one day, when we get to Heaven we’ll see the complete tapestry. We’ll see that the threads of disappointment were the threads that made the tapestry stronger, more beautiful, more perfect.
Friends, I have no clue what some of you may be going through. Some of you are having a tough time in life, especially with COVID-19. I don’t pretend to have all the right words, because seriously, who does? All I can say is stay strong! Take a moment to reflect. What might God be doing? How might He be changing you into a more beautiful image?
Note: I cannot take credit for the tapestry illustration. I heard it someplace else and was really inspired by it.